Saturday, March 17th, 2007
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6:55 am - if you dont already know
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Sunday, February 25th, 2007
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4:41 pm - new journal
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Friday, October 20th, 2006
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1:48 am - i knew too much
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suprisingly i feel like my life has done a complete 180. even though there are certain areas that could definetly be improved, im pretty content with how things are. i believe i just needed to get things straightened out with gavin, there was so much drama and confusion betweent the two of us that it was really hard to handle that and everything else that was going on. (and no we are no longer trying to 'work things out.' weve decided it would be best for the bost of us to just remain friends.)
i went to the beach today and got a pretty good sunburn. hopefully ill get some sort of tan out of it.
oh and anyone else feel their best when they are in their love interests borrowed clothes? for some reason i always feel sexy as hell in a pair of baksetball shorts and wife beater borrowed from the boy. oh well. :)
oh and...
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Sunday, October 15th, 2006
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2:26 pm - piccccccccctures
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2:22 pm - this is the way it is.
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my life felt like it was coming together for about 6-7 hrs and then it fell apart all over again.
im fuckin miserable now, its been a while since ive felt like this.
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(comment on this)
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Monday, July 31st, 2006
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2:50 am - one moment please.
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ive been very tired lately and im not exactly sure why. i always get 8-9 hours of sleep and i do nothing before work and when at work i do nothing as well so its not like im being active or something. most likely because, of the lack of food that i eat but when i do eat its nothing but fast food or plain old junk. i should start eating breakfast but i dont start to get hungry until 5-6 hours into the day. speaking of work i get a 15 cent raise at the end of the week. hooray. $6.75 an hour, i rock. im not going to bad mouth it though, i get paid for what i do and seeing that i really do nothing besides waste paper drawing and watch elf 3 times a day i really cannot complain. im sorry that this post is nothing more than about eating habbits and work but its really what i do every day. sleep, eat, work, sleep, eat, work. im dreading going to school. i havent been to real school, in a classroom, for almost three years now and i am freaked out a bit. im worried about how i will do if theres not someone there watching over me and having that one-on-one attention that i was given. im really tired but i wanted to watch "everything is illuminated" in which it is finishing up right now. i need to go back a chapter since i missed it from writing this but overall it was a decent movie. elijah wood is doing some weird stuff, he still is cute little hobbit man to me though. sleep, eat and then work tomorrow.
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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Friday, July 28th, 2006
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3:36 am - insomia.
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Friday, July 21st, 2006
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12:34 pm - to be yourself
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yes, ive sucked at being around. i wasnt at my house and i kind of just forgot about the computer in general. i bought a camera with my last paycheck, ill post pictures eventually. its nice to have it around again, its just gah, i love it. anyways, i need buy a memory card because the one that shipped with it is shit and im debating on buying a tripod. i should and i probably will. the one night i saw my mom last week we got into a fight and i told her i was moving out soon and blah blah blah. the following day im driving home from work with my dad and emma (yes, im an illegal driver) and he starts asking me if i really plan to move out and how my mom was up all night crying. yes, people crying is my weakness and come on it was my mother so of course i was like "eh i dont know." so when i got home i apoligized to my mom and kind of told her i wasnt planning on moving out when in fact i plan to quite soon. yes, i suck at life but gah i love my mom. she'll get over it i suppose. anyways i have to go to work at 4 in which today ill be recieving my second paycheck.
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(comment on this)
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Tuesday, June 20th, 2006
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8:54 am - is there something i should have done
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today is my first day of work/training. i guess i have 2 weeks at the englewood store and then they are transfering me to venice since ive been told everyone there basically sucks. im going to stay with this until school starts i suppose, otherwise i dont really mind the 45 minute bus ride there and the hour ride back. not like i have anything else better to do with my time. anyways, i tried to register my car yesterday and of course i couldnt because, my dad wasnt there and he is the co-owner of it. i guess ill go back again when i dont have to be in at 10am. yesterday was a pretty horrible day, im not going to go into details but it had to do with what i just talked about. well gavin should be here shortly, were going to get some coffee since i didnt fall asleep until about 4am last night.
current mood: tired
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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Sunday, June 18th, 2006
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5:29 pm - while the cancer ate away at your organs
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Monday, June 12th, 2006
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5:03 am - with faith and love
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its 5:03 am and im watching the lion king. i have some things to ramble about as usual. first of all, i need to get my car shit figured out. i want to drrrrrrive. i need a new camera in which i have no money but once i get a job im going to save up a bit of cash and splurge a tad. speaking of job, i think im going to apply at movie gallery. its the logical choice since my parents did own a video store and i have experience from there. plus its easy. anyways, my cousin justin found me on myspace. our families used to be close when we were younger but then suddenly his mother went crazy and totally disconnected herself to my fathers whole side of the family. i havent seem them nor heard from them since we moved down here in 4th grade. my mom said she just finally gave up and stop sending cards and letters a few years ago. its very weird to talk to him but i sent him a simple message saying that i was hoping he was doing well and he wrote back but i have no idea what to write in return. from the way his myspace looks we have absolutley nothing in common. oh well, ill think of something eventually. my sister, sarah, should be finding out the sex of her next baby sometime soon. im really excited for a baby to be around, it really makes life seem alot better. i love being an aunt as well, its so much fun even though kids can get annoying. its just incredible to watch them grow up. four more months though until she/he is here! well thats all for now.
current mood: calm
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(comment on this)
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Friday, June 9th, 2006
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7:36 am - have a look inside
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once you have something so fucking amazing dont ever do anything to fuck with that.
i need to stop playing games.
current mood: crappy current music: three evils- coheed & cambria
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(comment on this)
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7:20 am - this explains these times
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can you pretend im amazing i can pretend im amazing instead of what we both know i cut to the punch line baby can you pretend im amazing instead of what we both know
now our history is for sale and for that i apologize
current mood: infuriated current music: amazing by blue october
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(comment on this)
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Wednesday, June 7th, 2006
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7:08 am - you got to hurry up and make your move
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if you cant have what you like, like what you have?
i take this way too litterally.
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(comment on this)
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Monday, June 5th, 2006
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3:24 pm - its time for us to take a chance
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nothing has been happening lately which is why i never update. to begin with i bought a car and thats new and exciting i suppose for me. i cant drive it but i should be able to pretty soon. i still need to register it which im planning will cost about $150. i need to go to the bank to cash two checks so i can have more money because, im pretty poor right now. besides from that theres nothing new. i got a grant for school which i need more of so lets see how that goes. nothing new besides that. oh, i had to take my cartilage piercing out because, it was acting very weird and i finally got sick of it not healing fully after six months. my lip ring is doing good though, thank god. i need to find also a tattoo shop that does custom work because, i have an idea in my head that ive been sketching out for a few weeks but i need someone who can fix it and make it actually look nice. okay, im done for now. bye.
current mood: tired current music: none
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Tuesday, April 25th, 2006
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8:30 pm - another time to be amazed
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ive been doing quite a bit recently. ive filled out and submitted my financial aid form and filled out my mcc applicated. im also on my way to finishing all of my online classes besides a few phone calls and two final exams. i also am on my way to sending in my very broken camera to be fixed and looking into a new one.
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(comment on this)
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Wednesday, April 19th, 2006
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5:33 am - i dig up the thought of how your eyes glow
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as of now im very intimidated. pretty girls suck and make me feel insecure about everything including but not limited to; us. i feel like i need to make my mark, yet i dont have four legs and it wouldnt be too ethical or accepted for me to pee on you.
ps. one of my new favorite artists is fafi
current music: blue october- 18th floor balcony
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(comment on this)
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Monday, April 3rd, 2006
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3:26 am - asylum
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ive wrote down a to do list recently, so far its still in the works but it gives me an idea as to what i need to get done in the next few months.
now- fill out fafsa for 2006-2007/apply at manatee april 8- alyssas wedding april 22- be finished with flvs may 6th- ACT may 10- schools out; apply for jobs may 19- graduate june- get a car/move out
yeah its long but thats what i get for procrasinating.
current mood: anxious
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Sunday, March 26th, 2006
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1:04 am - no reason to remember, so easy to forget
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"you should go now that i know that i will be okay alone."
current mood: content
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(comment on this)
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Friday, March 24th, 2006
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4:22 pm - love is a fast song.
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being "single" is hitting me hard. its been, i dont know, maybe two weeks now. its hard to get over gavin when were still hanging out almost everyday, having sex and just pretending to be happy together. its so hard to get out of this routine when weve been in it so long. i really need it to be done. i feel like shutting myself out to the people around me and just being a complete hermit. i want to buy a new camera and go out and take pictures of everything and everyone. as of now i dont know what im doing with my life. im tempted to say "screw it" to what i had planned, find a shit hole apartment in orlando and go to the paul mitchell school. as of now i think id be alot happier in that situation.
blah.
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